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You Can Be an Ally

Do you know someone who is in an abusive relationship or suspect that is the case?

The best way to help them to show your support, let them know that you are there for them.

Here are a few ways for you to be supportive and letting them know that help is available.

Remember, our hotline is here for you, too. If you need help talking to a friend or putting together a list of resources, you can call The Retreat 24-hours a day at 631-329-2200.

How to be an ally:

  • Listen without judgment.
  • Be patient. They may struggle to tell their story. Victims may feel ashamed or embarrassed so they may not share everything.
  • Support their decisions, do not criticize them or guilt them over a choice they have made.
  • Remind them that it is not their fault, there is no excuse for abuse.
  • Tell them that all services are up and running including 911, emergency shelters, and healthcare offices. Give them referrals to the resources in your area.
  • Help them to brainstorm places they can stay if they leave and what they need to take with them.
  • Remind them that they are not alone.
  • Build on their strengths. They have survived.
  • Talk about their options.
  • Ask them how you can help and what they need.
  • Encourage them to call The Retreat. Let them know that all services are free and confidential.
  • The Retreat’s 24-hour hotline is 631-329-2200 or they can chat online through our website.