Mothers, grandmothers, sisters, wives.

They inspire us. They believe in us. They look out for us. They are truly Wonder Women. How do you express the depth of your gratitude to your most tireless champions?

Here’s how: Honor them with a Mother’s Day gift that supports mothers and children in crisis.  Reflect their heroism.

Make a donation to The Retreat honoring the daily heroics of an important woman in your life.

The Retreat’s mission is to provide safety, shelter and support for victims of domestic abuse and to break the cycle of family violence. The women who come to the Retreat for help are true SUPER HEROES-demonstrating tremendous strength. So are the women in your life. Honor and recognize them uniquely.

Make a gift today in your Wonder Woman’s name:

We will send your Wonder Woman a personalized email letting her know that she is your Super Hero. If she doesn’t have email, we will send her a card. And we will give all of our Wonder Women recognition on our Facebook Page!

By honoring and recognizing your Wonder Woman in this extremely special way, you (and she) are enabling other women and children to more safely become the superheroes within themselves.

Two ways to make your gift (the gift that cannot be wrapped)!

1) Call 631-329-4398 and provide a credit card and some words that honor and recognize your Wonder Woman.

2) Click the Donate Now button and follow the steps

Happy Mother’s Day!

East Hampton, NY (May 9, 2012) – Residents of the East End will soon have a second location to transform their used treasures—clothing, shoes, furniture, and other household goods—into tax-deductible donations that will positively change the lives of domestic violence survivors.

The Retreat, the East End’s only comprehensive domestic violence services organization, has announced the launch of The Retreat Boutique Too at 30 Park Place in the Village of East Hampton, with a Grand Opening Celebration Preview from 5PM to 7PM on Friday, May 18^th.

“The introduction of The Retreat Boutique Too in East Hampton represents a community-engaging way for us to support the needs of families who have survived domestic violence,” said Jeffrey Friedman, Executive Director of The Retreat, who indicated that The Retreat responded to more than 3,100 calls to its domestic violence crisis hotline in 2011, a figure up 35% from 2010. “Proceeds from this new store will help us to meet the increasing demand for our services.”

The new store will be flush with opportunities for local residents.  In search of staff, volunteers, donation of items, and satisfied customers to spread the word about the good that The Retreat is able to do with the proceeds from the sale of donated merchandise, The Retreat is “excited to take our thrift store success to another location,” said Mr. Friedman.

Residents should continue to bring any goods for donation to the agency’s flagship thrift store, The Retreat Boutique, anchored in the Bridgehampton Commons.

Attendees of the May 18^th Grand Opening will experience a preview of the new store and its merchandise.  This event will be the first opportunity customers will have to purchase the unique, special items that will be showcased at Retreat Boutique Too – so make sure you don’t miss this opportunity to take home a bargain!  The preview kick-off event is open to the public.

Following the grand opening event, The Retreat Boutique Too will be open daily from 11AM to 7:00PM, except Tuesdays.

The Retreat, a domestic violence services agency, since 1987, has been a community-based, not-for-profit agency that provides domestic violence services and support for victims of domestic crimes on eastern Long Island and beyond.  The Retreat provides a wide array of direct services, including five core services of Crisis Hotline, Domestic Violence Shelter, Legal Advocacy, Counseling, and Domestic Violence Prevention Education. For more information on these and other programs, please visit The Retreat’s website: www.theretreatinc.org.  Find The Retreat on Facebook www.facebook.com/theretreatinc and Twitter @RetreatDV.

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We’ve talked about stickers and shoelaces, but how about bringing awareness to Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month (TDVAPM) through your socks? Five high school basketball teams in East Hampton, New York have taken this forgotten footwear and made it a showpiece.

These high school teams have partnered with The Retreat, a domestic violence services agency, to help draw attention to dating abuse. Basketball players will be donning purple knee-high socks with The Retreat’s logo printed on the side for all home games during the month of February.

“As leaders in the school, athletes have the power to set the bar,” said Cristina Horan, an educator at The Retreat, in an interview with the Southampton Patch. “In wearing purple socks today, the boy’s basketball team is making it known that violence will not be tolerated in their school.”

The basketball players hope that by making this change all of the people who attend their games will take notice of this important issue.

Just like changing your shoelaces, putting on colorful socks is a quick and inexpensive way to make a big impact. If you wear purple socks you can catch the attention of your friends, family and classmates.

Partial to your toe socks? Don’t wear socks at all? That’s ok! You can still participate. You can wear a purple shirt or purple pants or purple jewelry. Your fashion statement can be a social statement and when people ask you about your unique socks you can tell them all about TDVAPM.

 

High school basketball players sport purple knee-highs in honor of TDVAPM (Photo: Taylor K. Vecsey)

 

 

http://sbpress.com/2012/04/tyson-a-look-into-the-downfall-of-a-legend/

By           Julie Lane      Shelter Island Reporter     | 04/06/2012 9:00 AM |

JULIE LANE PHOTO | Retreat Board of Directors President Barbara Olton in her Shelter Island living room talks about the organization’s goals.

Editor’s Note: This is the second of a two-part series on The Retreat. Read Part One, which detailed growing cases of abuse on Shelter Island, here.

The Retreat doesn’t just help battered women.

The East Hampton-based organization also works with schools and community groups to reach children growing up in abusive families, said Barbara Olton, a Shelter Island resident and the president of The Retreat board.

It’s critical to reach children, not only to give them a support system to deal with what’s going on in their households, but to help prevent a new generation of abusers, she said.

It’s not unusual for victims of abusers to grow up and become batterers themselves, according to Ms. Olton. That’s why Shelter Island School and Communities That Care, a drug and alcohol prevention group working with youths, are vital to the work at the Retreat.

Schools often are the first line of support to children in abusive households, Ms. Olton said. Teachers, nurses, administrators and others on staff will notice that a child is troubled and they’ll reach out in an attempt to determine what’s going on and what aid they can offer.

“We’re really pretty lucky on Shelter Island that we have a sensitive school team,” Ms. Olton said.

On June 11, the Retreat will make a presentation about its services to the Shelter Island School Board. But on a regular basis, Retreat counselors work with students in classrooms. It starts at the elementary school level, where students are taught that hands aren’t for hitting, Ms. Olton said.

“We need to teach kids that they deserve respect,” she added.

Retreat counselors also work individually with students when problems are known and let students know that if they need assistance, it’s available.

The Shelter Island Educational Foundation gave a $2,000 grant to The Retreat in the past two years to help pay for abuse prevention programs in the district.

Communities That Care is cooperating with The Retreat in an effort to secure grant funding for prevention programs, according to CTC President Marilynn Pysher. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration grant program could provide $125,000 for five years if the application is successful, Ms. Olton said.

Finances are critical to The Retreat, which worked with a budget of about $2.7 million last year and $3.3 million this year. It might sound like a lot of money, but given the scope of services the organization provides to the entire East End, administrators have to pinch pennies to make ends meet, said Executive Director Jeffrey Friedman. About half The Retreat’s annual budget has to come from fundraising and contributions, he said.

“It’s a scary time to provide these types of services,” he added.

Besides paying for all the needs of the people who seek help and outreach programs, the money covers salaries for 38 full and part-time workers, Mr. Friedman said. He described the staff as very hardworking and dedicated, noting that their jobs are sometimes made dangerous by angry spouses who force the organization to lock down the premises to prevent violence.

But he said those moments are counterbalanced by the rewarding experiences the organization has developing strong bonds with clients.

“I am very lucky to wake up every morning and go to a job where I can make a difference,” Mr. Friedman said.

jlane@timesreview.com

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The Retreat secures housing assistance funds to help bridge a gap in safety:
New program offers a path toward independence for disabled, abused client(s)  

East Hampton, NY (April 2, 2012) – Abused women on eastern Long Island who also face the challenge of one or more disabilities while trying to keep themselves and their children safe have scored a symbolic and financially concrete victory as the U.S. Interagency Council on Homelessness announced in mid-March a federal funding allocation to serve at least one disabled woman and her children on eastern Long Island with new assistance toward long-term housing.

The Retreat, the only non-profit domestic violence agency serving the east end of Long Island, is a confirmed awardee among 731 new local homeless programs that will benefit from a total of $201 million disbursed by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) in 2012.

“After a woman has made the decision to leave a violent situation, it is essential for her and her children to find safe and affordable housing.  With this HUD award, The Retreat is excited to be able to provide critical housing assistance in order to help at least one victim with a disability sustain a life free of violence and filled with hope and possibilities,” said Jeffrey Friedman, Executive Director, Retreat.  “We are working on ways to be able to help even more such women and their children,” he added.

The allocated funding will enable The Retreat to provide a new and direct link from the safety of trusted domestic violence emergency shelters (which often can support a woman and her children for up to 90 days) to more permanent homes for at least one disabled, abused client.  The result is greater safety and more empowerment toward independence for the client(s) to be served via this funding.

Through a combination of direct, in-kind, and leveraged resources, the funded project will provide a focused group of supportive services that foster independent living. These services include case management; counseling and advocacy services, and self-sufficiency/life-skills.   The grant will enable linkages and rapid access to a wide array of needed services, including, for example, mental health services, provision of health aides, drug abuse counseling services or treatment, and employment services.

The National Coalition for the Homeless indicates that a lack of affordable housing and long waiting lists for assisted housing mean that many women and their children are forced to choose between abuse at home or life on the streets.  “The announced federal award makes an important first dent in this challenge, particularly for women facing the dual challenges of disability and domestic abuse,” said Friedman.

The Retreat, a domestic violence services agency, since 1987, has been a community-based, not-for-profit agency that provides domestic violence services and support for victims of domestic crimes on eastern Long Island and beyond.  The Retreat provides a wide array of direct services, including five core services of Crisis Hotline, Domestic Violence Shelter, Legal Advocacy, Counseling, and Domestic Violence Prevention Education. For more information on these and other programs, please visit The Retreat’s website: www.theretreatinc.org.  Find The Retreat on Facebook www.facebook.com/theretreatinc and Twitter @RetreatDV.

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Jeffrey Friedman, Retreat Executive Director

(631) 329-4398

jfriedman@theretreatinc.org

www.theretreatinc.org

]]> http://www.theretreatinc.org/latest-news/the-retreat-secures-housing-assistance-funds-to-help-bridge-a-gap-in-safety-new-program-offers-a-path-toward-independence-for-disabled-abused-clients.htm/feed 0 http://www.theretreatinc.org/latest-news/special-report-domestic-violence-incidents-up-on-shelter-island.htm http://www.theretreatinc.org/latest-news/special-report-domestic-violence-incidents-up-on-shelter-island.htm#comments Fri, 30 Mar 2012 15:40:49 +0000 retreatwebadmin http://www.theretreatinc.org/?p=633 By           Julie Lane    Shelter Island Reporter       | 03/29/2012 12:00 PM |

The number of domestic violence calls Shelter Island Police have responded to the past five years.

Forty.

That’s the number of Shelter Island residents who have sought help the past two years from The Retreat, an East Hampton-based organization helping victims of domestic abuse.

For an island with a population of just under 2,400 residents, 52 percent of whom are women, that might be a shocking number.

But that number is backed by domestic violence statistics obtained from the Shelter Island Police Department. Police responded to 73 domestic calls in 2010 and 2011, according to Police Chief James J. Read. That’s almost as many calls as the full three years prior, when Island police filed 77 such reports.

The statistics reveal that the average number of domestic violence calls rose 44 percent in 2010-11 from 2008-09.

For as jolting as these numbers may seem to you, The Retreat Board President Barbara Olton, a Shelter Island resident, says it’s likely just a small indicator of the number of abuse cases on Shelter Island, since only about one in every three victims ever seek help.

“That’s the tip of the iceberg,” Ms. Olton said of the 40 residents who have sought help from her organization.

So what’s causing this increase in abuse?

Chief Read observed a correlation between incidents of domestic abuse and drug and alcohol abuse, noting that between 50 and 60 percent of people charged in abuse cases were high on drugs and/or alcohol.

While acknowledging the correlation between abusers and drug and alcohol use, Ms. Olton said she sees another catalyst in recent years — money.

The sudden economic meltdown coincided with the ramp up in abuse cases, she said.

Police statistics show Island police responded to 26 domestic abuse calls in 2007, just before the economic downturn, a number that has grown as high as 37 in 2010.

Stresses a family endures when wage earners lose jobs or their salaries fail to keep pace with inflation compound what may be an already tense situation in some households, Ms. Olton said.

“Violence explodes out of desperation,” she said. “What we hope people learn is that there’s help.”

The Retreat Executive Director Jeffrey Friedman agrees.

“The economy has really taken a toll in terms of violence in our area,” Mr. Friedman said. “Family stress is at an all-time high.”

Mr. Friedman said he’s seen a 73 percent increase in calls to his organization’s multilingual hotline, which now averages about 3,000 calls per year.

The Retreat officials said victims — most of whom are women — generally call the organization’s hotlines multiple times before reaching the decision to leave an abuser.

“[On average] It takes women seven times to leave an abuser and the eighth time, she’s either free or something tragic happens,” Mr. Friedman said.

And while many might think only poor and minority women are victims of abuse, it’s more frequently Caucasian women and even some who come from wealthy homes where they’re seen as trophy wives, Ms. Olton said. Their abusive husbands keep a tight rein on their money and schedules.

“We try to empower women to live independently in a safe environment,” she said.

Some end up at the Retreat as an interim place to live until they can get their lives back on track, Ms. Olton said. They’re given counseling, job training and, in extreme cases, assistance in relocating with a change of identity.

Of course some go back to their abusers.

“That breaks our hearts,” Mr. Friedman said.

But it’s not just the victims who get help through The Retreat. Thanks to court-ordered programs requiring abusers to get counseling, they also often land in Retreat-sponsored programs. The Retreat may also refer convicted abusers to outside alcohol or drug counseling or psychiatric help, Ms. Olton said.

There’s a 32-week education program for batterers to learn a different set of coping skills, Mr. Friedman said. Abusive husbands may also take parenting classes, sometimes with their spouses and even their children. This is Part I of a two-part series on The Retreat. Part II will be published next week.